Electric Eel Shock, Flying Dwarfs and Irishmen

“Those two Japanese rock people from the Electric Eel Shock band are going to torture Robin with three fish and then he’s going to kill one of them by stuffing one of the fish down the bloke’s throat,” I said this morning.

I was taken aback when Lou, our ‘death consultant’ on the “Killer Bitch” movie replied: “You’re ‘aving me on, John,” and genuinely didn’t believe me.

How could he not believe me?

A couple of months ago, our director Liam had got so frustrated by the torrents of abuse “Killer Bitch” was receiving from the tabloids over often completely fictional scenes that he asked: “Can anyone get me a dwarf for tomorrow?”

“I’ve got a dwarf and two midgets,” volunteered Lou.

And, sure enough, the next day, we filmed Mike Tyson’s long-time sparring partner Joe Egan throw a topless female dwarf (the very lovely and charming Sarah Bennett) off a roof in Watford. Shortly afterwards, a police helicopter started circling overhead, though that was more to do with the fact Joe Egan and four other Irishmen were running around an alleyway firing handguns and a sub machine gun. Fortunately Lou had forewarned the police and filled in the appropriate forms. Yes, there are indeed forms for such occasions.

So how could Lou not believe we would have former WBO World Boxing Champion and Olympic medallist Robin Reid kill Japanese rock star Akihito Morimoto by shoving a fish down his throat? Lou needed to see the fish before he would believe it.

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